dor? eu não sei o que significa dor? eu sei o que é escrever com lágrimas a escorrem pelos olhos, sei o que é estar em frente de um computador e chorar enquanto escrevo a carinha "(:". sei também o que é estar a falar com alguém e tentar segurar as lágrimas, só para parecer forte. mas também sei, que por vezes é impossível, e sei também que já chorei em público muitas vezes. sei o que é ser desprezada, gozada e o quanto custa perder uma amizade. sei o que é ser usada, o que é ser esquecida, e o quanto doí sofrer uma desilusão. sei o que é chorar ao ouvir uma música, sei o que é sentir-me profundamente sozinha. sei o que é sentir-me incompreendida e também sei o que é ter uma grande pressão de todo o mundo sobre mim, incluindo "eu" mesma. sei o que é ver um filme romântico e sentir profundamente sozinha, feia, e se esperança. sei o que é não gostar de mim, sei o que é passar o dia dos namorados sozinha e sei o que é sentir-me um "monstro". sei o que é ouvir insultos, e por vezes não acreditar quando as pessoas me elogiam. eu sei também que sou nova, e que felizmente ainda não passei por outros tipos de dor, mas essa palavra, "dor", essa eu conheço o seu significado.
"Make plans, give them a goal, work to achieve ... But occasionally look around. Watch and enjoy. 'Cause it's now or never. Tomorrow everything will be over ..."
9 de fevereiro de 2013
6 de fevereiro de 2013
and now, I don't talk with her anymore
I can't believe what's happening! I don't talk with my best friend anymore. We promise that, we were going to a new school, we were going make new friends, but we were going to talk and be what we were. and now, yeah, she has new friends, but I also have new ones, but I can't forget my old friends. I think I'm not wrong, I meant she doesn't talk to me ANYMORE, sometimes, she just say hello to me with a hand, and never talk to me or stay with me just for while. On the bus, we are together, but, she is always texting with her new friends, and rarely talks. and when we arrive to school, she stays with her "new friends" and she didn't even say goodbye. and hurts, hurts a little, because, I think that I'm not "cool" or "pretty" or "skinny" enough to be her friend, so, I stoped to talk to her too, and now, we are like strangers, and it's sad, it's really sad. we promise a forever friendship, and now, I don't talk with her anymore...
3 de fevereiro de 2013
TIRED
I'm tired of being myself, I'm tired of being called fat and ugly everytime, everyday, I'm just tired! I wanna change, but I can't, I just can't! I'm tired of all the problems with my best friend, all the school pressure, all the shit above my life! just James keeps me going, because I know that I'll see him in 166 days! but I'm tired of fake a stupid smile everyday, I'm tired! sometimes, I just wanna cry, and run away from here! why the society have to be so bad, and cruel? I'm tired of me, I'm just tired, and all I want is that people don't joke at me, and that people love me just for who I am. I'm just tired of this world, and this crap of live! I can't take it anymore... my family is perfect, I love them all. but society, is SUCKS! sometimes, I just wanna stay in the bed all day, just for don't have to see that look of some persons, I hate me sometimes, because is hard being myself! I have some friends that just talk to me because I have "good grades", and ohh wait! I can't have good grades for be a doctor, so what am I do with my life? I don't know... my best friend don't talk to me anymore, she prefers her new friends, and, whooa, perfect! she just prefer her new friends because their are beautiful and skinny and popular girls! soo, yeah, sometimes I'm just a piece of shit, so yeah, congrats society! you are destroying teenagers! are you happy?
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